Guide: How to talk to strangers on Instagram to generate leads 

If the idea of starting a conversation on Instagram makes you sweat… you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: real business growth doesn’t come from what you post—it comes from who you connect with. And that starts with conversations. 

Let’s break it down into 6 simple (and very real) sections that will help you stop lurking and start engaging—like a human.

Conversations Matter More Than What You Post

Posting content is important—but if you’re only posting and never talking, you’re leaving opportunity on the table. Conversations are where relationships start. And in business? Relationships are currency. In our blog "growing intentionally" you can read why those relationship matter even more. 

Think about it: You could have 10,000 followers and zero clients. Or you could have 300 engaged connections and a full roster. The difference? Connection. Dialogue. Realness.

“I Don’t Know My Audience”—Just Start.

Don’t let that stop you. Here’s how to start today with a step by step tutorial using ChatGPT to help you find people to engage with: 

Step-by-step tutorial on using ChatGPT or AI: 

Absolutely! Here's a clear step-by-step tutorial for using AI (like me!) to help you find people on Instagram to start conversations with — even if you're not sure who your audience is yet.

How to Use AI (ChatGPT) to Find the Right People on Instagram

Step 1: Open ChatGPT (it's free!) 

Type a prompt like:

“Can you give me a list of 5 Instagram accounts with 10k–50k followers in [type your niche like real estate, or type your city "Calgary Alberta") that have strong engagement and post consistently?”

You can be specific:

• “Wellness coaches for moms”

• “Canadian product-based businesses”

• “Women entrepreneurs in marketing”

• “Real estate accounts with story-based content”

Step 2: Get the List & Do a Quick Audit

Once I give you suggestions, go check them out (don't rely on Chat only - some accounts may NOT be posting anymore or -- they are SPAM!), to confirm check these three things: 

• Do they post consistently?

• Are their captions conversational?

• Are people commenting? Are they replying?

Look for signs of real human interaction — not just follower count.

Step 3: Start Following + Watching Their Stories

This is key. Don’t just “like and leave.” That's rude. 
Watch their stories, see what they’re about, and get a feel for their energy. If you LIKE what they are doing -- don't be shy. But if you do not like what they have going on at all -- just keep asking Chat for new people. 

Step 4: Begin the Conversation (Softly)

You don’t need to pitch. You don’t need to be weird.

Start like this:

• “This really made me laugh—thank you.”

• “Wow I’ve never thought about that this way.”

• React to stories with 🔥👏😂 then follow up with a note like:
  “You’re officially my Monday motivation. Love your vibe.”

The Psychology of Connection: Why Instagram Relationships Matter

Humans are wired for connection. We want to belong. My therapist from Pause and Pivot taught me years ago that when we feel seen, we feel safe. And that’s what real relationships on Instagram can do.

As Dr. Brené Brown says,

“Connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”

So when you stop seeing IG as a megaphone and start seeing it as a coffee shop full of potential collaborators, clients, and cheerleaders—you show up differently.

“But It Feels Awkward…” (Yup. And That’s Okay.)

Newsflash: You are going to feel awkward. Especially at first. Then it becomes more natural - and I don't mean after a day or two, I have been doing this for 10+ years. 

What to comment on (specifically):

• “Omg I’ve never thought of it that way—thank you for this.”
• “Wow, this really hit me today. I needed that.”
• “This made me laugh way too hard 🤣 thank you.”

What to say in stories:

• React with 🔥👏❤️—but also follow it up with a message like:
  “I always love your take on this.”
  “You’re officially my morning motivation.”

Be human. Be generous. Be genuine. People can feel the energy behind your messages. Everyone is posting for the same reason: CONNECTION. 

Why Instagram Stories Are Where the Magic Happens

Stories are where the intimacy lives. They’re raw, unfiltered, and real-time. When someone watches your stories—or you watch theirs—it’s like being invited into a personal conversation.

This is where trust is built.
This is where you move from stranger ➝ peer ➝ collaborator ➝ client.
Every reaction or comment is a tiny handshake. Keep showing up.

Don't Be “That Person”—Think Coffee Shop Vibes 

Would you ever walk up to someone at a coffee shop and say, “Wow, your trip to Mexico looked amazing!” … if you’d never met them? No. It would feel random and a little invasive. But you might say something more casual and present like:

• “I love your bag—where’s it from?”
• “Hey, we always seem to be here at the same time… we must be on the same wavelength.”

Do the same on Instagram.

When you’re starting conversations online, think of it like being in a room with real people. Start with something in-the-moment and relatable. If someone posts a photo of their morning coffee setup and you love their mug—comment on that. If they’re sharing behind-the-scenes chaos of their kid’s soccer game, you can say “Omg, we are living the exact same Saturday energy 😂.” These small, genuine exchanges are what build familiarity and trust.

Remember, all relationships—online or offline—take time to build. You wouldn’t walk into a party and immediately pitch someone your services, right? You’d chat, find something in common, maybe bump into them again later. It’s the same on social. Be consistent, show up with kindness, and stay curious about the person, not just their content. That’s how real connections grow.

Some non-weird opener ideas:

• “I feel like I keep seeing your posts lately—clearly I was meant to follow you 👀”
• “This made my day. Thank you for sharing this.”
• “Do you always post this much goodness?? I’m obsessed.”

All relationships take time. Ease into it. Be kind. Be present.
Let it grow like any great friendship would.

Want More?

There’s a full class inside The Marketing Lounge where I go even deeper into how to build connection-based marketing that actually grows your business.

You can try the Marketing Lounge FREE for 7 days. And if you love it - stay for only $7 per month. 
You’ll get access to our full class library, weekly engagement pods, and a community that’s all about marketing like a human—not a robot.